


Rockin' All Over the Worlds

by Brynnen, Piemachine (Brynnen)



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen, IN SPACE!, Sherman regrets paying into that 401k, a silly little thing, are foam parties a thing outisde of the UK?, technically genocide is mentioned really off-handedly, the guys hang out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:55:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynnen/pseuds/Brynnen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynnen/pseuds/Piemachine
Summary: When those weird dudes in a flying saucer offered them the gig of a lifetime none of them could have guessed it would end up like this.





	Rockin' All Over the Worlds

'Hey Sherman, I could do with a hand here.' Danny called over his shoulder as he steered them through the heavy traffic.

'You need help getting the right exit? We oughta update the NavCom some day when we've got the money.' Sherman pulled up the map and at a gesture the system map exploded out into three dimensions around him so he could swoop through it, analysing the complex traffic management system. He pinpointed where they were and clucked his tongue against his teeth as he formulated the best available route. 'Okay then, next nexus we're going to need to go on the blue trail, so stay in the upper left quadrant here.'

'Sure.' Danny manoeuvred their craft to the correct lane with a sigh of relief. Piloting their tour bus was a lot easier when you didn't have to map-read at the same time. One of many problems he had in a universe not designed with the convenience and comfort of humans in mind. Only having one brain was brutal in a transit system designed by and for hive-minds.

'Where's Bobbi at?' He wondered out loud.

Sherman looked up from the map to give him a disbelieving look that he couldn't guess. 'Still fixin' the holes those last pirates put in his coat. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to invisibly repair a Florian pelt jacket you philistine?"' He briefly imitated the bassist with almost uncanny accuracy.

Danny snorted with laughter, almost missing his exit but recovering at the last second. 'That never gets old, my friend.'

Sherman chuckled as he remembered the shock on the pirates' faces when Bobbi's reaction to getting shot had been a passionate diatribe on correct fabric care. 'They never learn, do they?'

'Hey, maybe it'll be three hundred and twelfth time lucky!' Danny suggested with mock cheer.

'Hope springs eternal, I guess. Okay, follow the right-most flow 'round this curve and then we should see th' spaceport almost dead ahead. I wonder what dive X'rrliel has booked us into this time.'

'I told him we weren't doing any more gigs like that last one. Yeah, I get that classy's different across different cultures, but I gotta draw the line somewhere.' Danny shuddered in memory.

Sherman nodded along with Danny's continuing monologue as he neatly brought them into dock, then frowned as the mechanical decontamination rig on the dock side rattled into action. A suspicion stirred in his mind as their view of the dock vanished behind a cloud of detergent suds. 'Is this one of them germaphobe planets?'

Danny checked the notes X'rrliel had sent through to the dashcom. 'Whole system's like this. The Uooia have very delicate immune systems. Urgh, looks like we're spending the next three wints in hazsuits every time we leave th' bus. If I'd known that I'd've insisted on at least another hundred.'

Sherman had been frustrated by many of their managers over the years, but X'rrliel did seem to be trying to win some kind of inconsiderate manager trophy. Maybe there were some kinda secret trade awards that mere musicians never got to hear about. 'Please tell me they at least have decent taste in music.'

'They went crazy for the Beatles - apparently there were system-wide riots when they realised that not only were the Beatles no longer touring, but their entire planet had gotten blown up, making getting hold of a decent cover band difficult.'

'Truly the greatest tragedy of Earth's demise.' Sherman said sardonically, raising an eyebrow at Danny. 'Primary civ problems, eh?'

Danny chuckled at the acerbic remark. Earth had been gone for long enough that those kinda jokes didn't really sting any more.

'What is the point in designing and making an outfit such as this if no one will see it to appreciate my artistry?' Bobbi complained as he struck a pose to show off his newly repaired outfit. He'd done a great job, unless you knew exactly where to look, the bullet holes were practically invisible.

'It'll look great in our next video, dude.' Danny tried to console Bobbi.

'You saw the haz-rating too huh?' Sherman asked sympathetically. They might have different reasons for loathing the hermetically-sealed jumpsuits, but the comfort versus style debate always got set aside in the face of their combined loathing for the awfulness of hazsuits.

'The movies never mentioned this kind of thing. If I'd know how much advanced xeno-hygeine versus how few hot alien cheese and beef cake in skin-tight space suits this would involve I'd have probably said no to the Xenthuians.' Bobbi reflected, not for the first time.

Star Trek had grossly overrepresented the size of the hot, green-skinned space babe demographic the universe actually had. Roddenberry had a lot to answer for.

'I dunno, there was that Mon Calamari foam party season we covered a few tours back.' Sherman offered mock-helpfully.

Bobbi shuddered at the mere mention of it. 'Even you can't say that was edifying.'

'I kinda blocked it out with the complimentary pan galactic gargle blasters actually.' Sherman admitted to Bobbi's relief. He knew the drummer had no taste, but he had hoped none of them would actually go crazy for at least another Earth century or two.

Danny perked up in the pilot's seat and brought up their rider on the big display. 'It ain't all bad dudes, X'rrliel swung as an open bar and complimentary meals every night! No cash value limit!'

The other two perked up visibly at that, free food and drinks, an audience and a whole new album's worth of material to show off? Things were looking up!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the result of my combined loves of sci-fi in varying forms and Wagner's The Flying Dutchman.
> 
> If I were a more dedicated/inspired writer this would have been a high-concept, hard sci-fi story in which the guys are given the secret of eternal life after a cultural misunderstanding at the gig they were abducted by aliens to perform. They wander the cosmos and hi-jinks ensue.
> 
> I am not that writer though, but if anyone is inspired by the above very silly brief to produce derivative works I'd love to see that!


End file.
